Crap, It’s Craft Season

Crafts.
I flip through the magazines that congreagate on the side tables between hair dryers at the salon.

The headlines are encouraging: Christmas Crafts, Easy to Create, Felt Fun. I can create, in minutes;  beaded napkin rings,  hand sewed pillows; original ornaments. That festive touch. Is entirely up to me.

Although I think of another F word when gazing on the perponderance of craft projects. I never did get excited about crafts, I cannot glue or paste my way out of a paper bag, or decorate that same bag.

Yet the holidays make me feel guilty that I’m not spending my dark evenings doing that very thing.
So what is my craft then?
Writing.

If I can’t make the silly ornament, maybe I can describe my mother when she’s in the throes of fabulous felt fun. Maybe I can write an essay about the first Christmas ornaments on the newly wed holiday tree.

I can compose a poem listing all the gifts I hated.

Writers can be crafty, if they’re crafty enough.

Not writing anything else

One of the things about participating in the infamous NaNoWriMo is that other writing can fall by the wayside. Including blogs.

Racking up word count against a 50,000 word goal is a heady and delicious thing.  Not that all those words are perfect, they are not.

But look!  So many!  And among the plastic costume words are some genuine jewels.  I’ll let you know if I find any.

In the mean time, that’s what I’m indulging in, an orgy of writing.

Give it a try, it’s not too late:  Www.NaNoWriMo.org

Join the crazies!

Why do Large Publishers Reject Self-Published Books?

I recently posed this question to an agents panel:
Why do publishers refuse to work with self published books?

Because, explained the agents patiently.  If the author can’t sell 50,000 copies of their book, then the publishers can’t either.

Just to clarify.

If a single author who bothered to produce and promote their book, but probably has little experience in PR and  marketing as well as a full time job, possibly a family, can’t sell his or her book, then a large publishing concern with a full staff of marketing and PR professionals, a sales team and distribution contracts with chain book stores can’t sell the book.

What I’m hearing is that any individual should be able to sell more books than a huge mulit layered corporation. And if you cannot sell 10,000 books all by yourself, then the large publishers certainly cannot sell your book because on the whole, they are no more talented or connected than you.

This begs the very existence of traditional publishers, and they brought it up first.
The new paradigm is that all individual authors should be able to sell thousand of copies of their book all by themselves.  The publishers?  No, they cannot sell books themselves, apparently it’s not what they do.

This explains the trend for pre-famous authors. Large juicy contracts and advances from traditional publishers are bestowed upon authors with pre-existing celebrity, because that individual author is already a permanent feature in Style and People  and can sell her books all by herself. Traditional publishers are so beleaguered and unable to sell books, celebrity biographies are the only thing they can imagine producing.  And that’s what we find in the bookstores, big celebrity biography’s. If the celebrity is already dead so much the better, lower royalties.

The positive take away here?  Smaller, independent publishers have emerged to fill the gap between huge and self publishing, and they can sell books. There are more and more options on-line for you, the small author to reach readers and sell your book.

The message; it’s all about you -  and should you ever contract with a large traditional publishing house, and they promise to sell your book, congratulations!
And good luck.

No Reason for the Season

I kick leaves. It used to be easy to kick leaves, the colorful maple, red and yellow liquid amber and bright yellow ginko leaves carpeted the sidewalks of my youth, there to be scuffed.

The world is far more efficient now a days so tracking down leaves to kick is a bit of a challenge. but I pursue it anyway. I drag my feet through the gutters, race ahead of the gas powered leaf blowers to crunch a small pile of oak leaves before they are scattered to the edges of a park.

l know, a middle aged woman cheefully hiking around in gutters must look like quite a sight, but I find I don’t care.  I want to be involved in the season, and the sound and color of turning trees; that is the season.

What do you love to do in the fall?  Carve the pumpkin? Eat the candy corn because it’s just-harvested- fresh?   Do you consume handfuls of  tiny, individually wrapped candy bars, because you know, they are so small?

This is the time of year when we consider our favorite time of year or our favorite season. Perhaps we consider this because fall is so obvious, perhaps because we are bombarded with the message that December with all its holidays, should be the clear winner in favorite time of year contest.

All that messaging just inspires me to think – hmm, Christmas?  No, no, I don’t think that’s it,  October?  Witches and goblins and candy?  Yes, I love October.  And I love April – my birthday month.  And I really love August which holds no holidays at all.

What is your favorite season?  And how can it be celebrated?

Searching for Cinderella

Searching for Cinderella, the story of desperate parents   and how they launched their son out of the castle.

A long time ago, in a great prosperous land there lived a stressed out king and queen.  They were stressed because their lovely son, the prince, refused to act like an adult and settle down. The prince loved to hunt, fish and slay dragons. He hung  out with his buddies the lords of the land.  All of them frittered their time in wars and other unhealthy pursuits.
When the prince wasn’t out in the country side riding around on horses and jousting, he relaxed at the castle playing loud video games and  overbearing war films late into the night.
The king and queen decided they had enough, the castle, as large as it was, was just two small for the three of them. One of them had to go.

So they decided the fastest way to grow the boy up was to marry him to a girl.  They would sweeten the deal by offering the royal hunting lodge located just 15 miles  more than a day’s ride away as the prince and his new bride’s home.

”It’s time you married and settled down somewhere else.“ The King and Queen announced to the prince.
”But there aren’t any girls where I hang out! “ protested the prince.
”How convenient for you.“ Retorted his parents.  ”But don’t worry , we have a plan.  We will bring the girls to you.  We plan to invite all the geographically desirable girls in the kingdom to come to a big party, our treat.
You job is to pick one out as your wife.“
”But what If I don’t like anyone?“  Whined the prince.
”Unless you want to marry the princess of France, this is it, the most marriageable age girls you will ever find, all in one place. Plus  this is certainly more efficient that leaving it to you. How many girls did you meet while hunting in the forest? Never mind, don’t answer that.“

And so the prince had little choice but to show up at the ball thrown in his honor.  But he was not alone. HIs parents graciously hired a half dozen secret service agents whose sole job was to prevent the prince from bolting to  the nearest tavern.
And from all those young ladies, all those possibilities,  who did the prince choose?
A scullery maid.
The best FU he could manage against his overbearing parents.

Books for transitional women

I put together some of my favorite books for help in mid-life transformation to send to one of my very best friends, who is, yes, facing a mid-life transformation. And I thought, why not share with my friends and clients as well?

So here are some ideas if you need inspiration.  Since I’m a writer, I see all help being contained in a book.

The Life Organizer – Jennifer Louden

I like this approach that is completely different from the Franklin/Covey prioritize your day with lists,  outlines and check off boxes.  Louden not only encourages us to look at the bigger picture, but also look past what we perceive to be societal expectations – those little to do boxes.
Also you can subscribe to her blog for free and it’s pretty encouraging. www.comfortqueen.com

It’s Only Too Late if you Don’t Start Now -  Barbara Sher.

This is an older book, 1998, but  Sher  makes some good, timeless points about finding fulfillment starting at middle age. And again, she brings up the expectations we labor under that aren’t real and don’t help. www.barbarasher.com  (the book is more helpful than the web site)

Ripe Living after 50 -  Susan Swartz

This is a local author and Press Democrat columnist Susan Swartz.  She is encouraging and funny and doesn’t take herself or aging all that seriously.  www.juicytomatoes.com

Succulent Wild Woman  Sark.

This is the only Sark book I found accessible, mostly because the format can be difficult to read. She gives basic advice, going to dinner alone, finding your passion, that kind of thing.  It’s worth a look even if you find only a handful of pages relevant.
www.planetsark.com

Suppose to be working

I find that when face with a project that has a specific deadline, like  the Smart Girls Guide I’m creating. It suddenly becomes CRITICAL that I empty my bulk mail folder.

Expert at being a Master

We reach a certain point in our careers where we identify ourselves as either an  Expert or a Master.

The expert knows everything, and resents implications that she does not. There is a great deal of ego involved in being an expert, experts are not happy with challenges, because since they know everything there should be no more questions concerning their own knowledge base.  Question the expert at your peril. It often does not end well.

Experts operate a closed system.

The Master represents an accumulation of knowledge with the realization that knowledge is never truly captured and never, never static.  So the Master is constantly cycling through the system of mastery:  student, learner, apprentice teacher and then master. Then a new idea, a new technology comes up and there is something to master all over again.

I like being the Master at what I do.  Because how can I be an expert if the target, the finished product that is “to know everything” keeps moving towards the horizon?

How is it possible to hold onto a certain certitude if nothing in our experience is ever certain?

So be a master at what you do, don’t strive so hard to be the expert, because holding onto that status is stressful and will make you cranky because experts are assailed from all sides from either other experts or from amateurs who want to prove themselves against what you know.

But if you are a Master, and are interested in learning, then there are no assailants, just more teachers, more information and more opportunities to make your life richer.

It’s Not Working

I’m sitting in the Redwood Café, displaced by my housekeeper who speaks just enough English to take my money but not enough to adhere to any kind of schedule. So she surprised me this morning with her vacuum and her sister and I can’t really work in my house while she’s working on my house.

I escape to the local café.  The guy at the table next to me is holding court and loudly denigrating Congress, Health Care and Afghanistan in that order and I can’t figure out if he’s angry because third world war torn counties have health care or that Congress members have never visited Afghanistan.
All I’m here for is the chai and some quiet to write an essay for a writing contest that I thought would be fun to do.

The essay is not coming along well.
I find myself forcing every sentence and every word in the essay to MAKE IT WORK. And I’m creating and expanding every sentence to fit my theme and MAKE IT WORK. And I restructured paragraphs and rearranged the descriptions of the players to MAKE IT WORK.
And I realized after 72 hours of WORK.
It’s not working.
I wonder about that.  How often do we work and work on a project that for whatever reason doesn’t hold together for us. What if a writing project doesn’t work?

My first reaction is to leave the project, but for how long?  Forever?  This particular one feels like it can be revisited later.  Sometime in December. 2018.

Perhaps this mess will coalesce sooner than that and miraculously show me meaning and threads and brilliant sentences and suddenly I will see the light and it will WORK.

Perhaps not.
But I do know that to keep slogging at it, especially when it’s so clearly NOT WORKING, is not a good thing. Sometimes giving up a project or just putting it off, is okay.  There will be other contests, other opportunities.  Right now I will stop working so hard and switch to a project that is working and flowing.

And that is what to do when IT’S NOT WORKING.

Blonds have more fun

Besides the obvious, why are stereotypes bad in writing? They are bad because they are a lazy way to express yourself.  Stereotypes are what critics call flat characters:  the Irish cop, the kindly housekeeper, the Italian restaurateur. These stock characters can cheapen your work and give the impression that you are a uninformed and amateur writer, and you don’t want that impression do you?

A way to beat the stereotype blues, at least in fiction is to flip those embedded assumptions over and create the unexpected: a great example are the Shrek movies – the bad green ogre is really the hero, and so on.

Of course what happened next is that in working hard to dispel stereotypes we’ve created new ones, ones that, again, you do not want to perpetuate simply because it will make you look bad: the young beautiful karate expert, the terminator with a heart of gold who later becomes governor, the vampire with a moral compass, Read the original Frankenstein, the monster was always lost and misunderstood. So to create a lost, misunderstood monster is not only a stereotype but also a cliché.

And another cliché? The emerging writer who can only create flat, clichéd characters, so don’t stereotype yourself.